I woke up on Friday morning in some grass next to the railroad tracks in Dunnigan, CA. All my stuff was wet from the morning dew. I sat up and tried to let my eyes adjust to the brightness outside.
A black dog wandered up next to me from out of nowhere. He came up next to me and I pet him a couple times. Then he ran off into the alfalfa field after some birds.
I walked up to the tracks and brushed my teeth. I sat there for about 15 minutes waiting for my stuff to dry in the sun. After that I went down and packed up.
I started walking towards the truck stop across the way. My legs were sore and my thighs stung from chafing after the 17 mile walk the day before. I got to the truck stop and found the wifi had been out for 2 weeks and I had no way of using Internet. I was kind of bummed by that.
So I went outside to sit by the gas station with my north sign. The place was really busy with campers and travelers so I hoped to get a ride out that day.
I sat there about an hour when a lady walked up with 3 puppies. She let them down to walk around near me. She asked how far north I was going? I told her Washington or Oregon. She said she was heading to Orlin and could take me there. I didn't know where that was but she told me about an hour north. I asked her if there were any stations to get a ride out from there. She said yes. Then I warned her that I smelled really bad and if she was sure. She laughed and told me it was ok.
So I put my things in the trunk of her Subaru car and hopped in. I was exited just to be heading north. We headed up the 5 and talked in the car. Her name was merylynn. When she was little her mother took her and her sisters to Mexico to escape an abusive dad. They lived in basically a shed there and were poor. Her father eventually hired a private investigator to find them, and he did. Her father was wealthy and brought them back to the states. He was changed and better to be around. She works now as a therapist in natural healing in napa. She also has a string of solar farms set up in and around Orlin.
So we made it to Orlin. She offered me to take a shower at her house from when I told her I stank. I told her I would love that. We went to her house and I showered. She also did my laundry which was awesome. She was really nice and smiled as she was able to help me out.
She made me a bowl of cereal and cut up some fresh pineapple for me as well. We ate together. I was starving and it was probably the best bowl of cereal I ever had. She also showed me a book she was writing about her adopted daughter. I read some of her story. She found her daughter in a cardboard box in Mexico on the side of the street and adopted her. It was a pretty cool story.
After we ate she took me up to her ranch to feed her dogs and horses. It was beautiful. It was up in the hills west of Orlin and I got to hangout there for a while. The horses were really cool as I pet them and took some pictures. There were about 10 of them and 4 were youngsters.
We headed back to the house. She asked if I knew how to install spy ware and if I could put it onto her computer. I told her I would try it by googling directions. So I ended up figuring it out and set that up for her.
I folded my laundry and packed my things. She also made me a salad to go. She was heading to chico to pick up her daughter and would drop me off at a gas station in next to highway 5 in Orlin. She dropped me off. I thanked her sincerely and really appreciated all she did for me. We took a picture then hugged goodbye. She said she was happy to meet me and that she felt like she connected with me. It was cool.
So she took off. I went across the street to a burger king to write. I literally sat there 5 minutes when two old gentleman walked up. One man asked me where I was headed. I told him and he said he could take me to redding as he was headed home there. I said "yeah!". I picked my things back up and jumped into his Toyota car outside of burger king. I was exited. They were driving different cars. The older man was in an el camino.
We took off heading north. His name was Ron. He was heading home from Sacramento. Him and his wife's uncle (the other man) went there to pick up the el camino, which Ron was restoring for him. We drove about an hour and a half up north. I couldn't believe my luck with two rides in one day!
Me and Ron thought much alike. He was a really cool guy. He was a vet and worked in a charity now called people restoration and helped improve peoples lives. He told me working in that is like having a litter of 12 piglets and only having 8 teats. But all in all he really loved it. He thought what I was doing was great and courageous. He said he was a believer in god and sharing with others was what his life was about. I was really happy to meet him and hear his story. He went through a time where he experienced my same thoughts. And now he is very happy and living in peace. Gave me more hope.
Ron stopped off an exit south of redding where his wife's uncle departed, then we got back on the road to redding. When we got to redding me and Ron stopped at a harbor freight. He had to get a tool there. Then we went to Costco where he had to pick up a printer for his wife (she was a professor).
After that Ron took me to reddings biggest tourist attraction; the sun dial bridge. I never heard of it before. It's a 38 million dollar bridge that is made of glass. It goes over the Sacramento river and is only for people, no vehicles. It was really cool. We checked out some of the history and things about the bridge. It's actually an accurate sun dial (tells time with shadows). It was really interesting.
Me and Ron hungout a while there then he took me to the nicest mcdonalds I'd ever seen. It had couches and was like a restaurant. They had wifi there for me to use. Ron came in with me and got an ice cream. When he left he said he was very thankful to meet me and he would be praying for me. He gave me a brochure to his church, which was down the road, and said if I was still there Sunday to stop by. He hugged me and left. It was great to talk to Ron and amazing of him to show me around. He was a nice man and we really connected.
I stayed in mcdonalds for a while. An older couple walked up to me asking where I was going? I told them my plan. They sat down at my booth to hear some of my story. The mans name was Wayne smith, I can't recall his wife's name. They were very kind people. Wayne told me that even though we only talked for 5 minutes, he felt connected to me and really liked the sense he had of the kind of person I am. That was so cool to hear. And it was the third person who told me they loves being able to connect to me that day. Pretty random but very cool also.
I shared with Wayne my thoughts on faith. He said he was happy to hear that I'm seeking truth. He also was a missionary insouth America many years on a similar spiritual journey. He told me he was nearly at the same point as me at one time. He told me keep being honest and do what I'm doing, and that what I seek will come. I thanked him for that. His wife seemed very worried about me not having a place to stay and having no money (my money has run out by this point). I told her not to worry but she was unsettling still. It was nice. We exchanged information and they shook my hand and left.
I left mcdonalds at around midnight. I went next door to a taco shop to find a place to stay. There was a shed where i could be hidden just behind it. I sat there for a few minutes to see how I felt about it. There were roaches crawling all over the concrete so I decided no way I would stay there.
I walked to the corner of the lot behind mcdonalds. I sat behind a tree there to feel it out. I noticed right away a man laying down near me. He was holding a beer up in the air and talking to it. He was saying "your the one who understands, this world isn't good enough for me". He said more but I took of and wasn't gonna stay there. I was really tired and there wasn't much around there for places to sleep. It was mostly commercial buildings in all directions for a couple miles.
I went by a carls jr where I saw their lobby was open 24 hours. I figured I would go in and see how long I could stay there. The streets all around were full of roaming tweaks and I didn't know where to go. I set my stuff in there and sat down. I put my journal in front of me and fell asleep leaning on my hand with my elbow on the table. I slept hardly at all that night and seriously woke up for 10 minutes every 10 minutes (roughly). I had a really bad headache also from being so tired. I heard the manager at one point say "he can stay here, he's ok". That was pretty nice to hear and even though I was restless, I was comfortable.
My alarm went off at 6:15 am. I woke up on the floor next to the freeway and storage place. I woke up next to my two homeless companions Chuck and Mandy. As I got up Mandy woke up too. We packed up our sleeping bags and stuff to head to the truck stop. Chuck sat up right before we left. He knew he wouldn't see me again. He shook my hand and said good luck. He said it was real cool to hang with me a couple days. I said it has been cool and it was great to meet him. I walked off and he yelled "nick! Don't ever forget me!" an answered "il always remember you chuck, til the day I'm senile". He laughed and laid back down.
Me and Mandy walked to the truck stop near the firework booth where I was gonna meet patty and her son for a ride. I met them there at 7. I said goodbye to Mandy and hopped into pattys van. She had a bag waiting for me with 6 chorizo, egg, and potato burritos. There was also 2 gatorades, 4 chocolate puddings, and a Hot coffee. That was awesome. I didn't have any food for the day so she really hooked me up.
Patty drove me to north woodland where she worked. They dropped me off at an arco station at about 7:20. It was very nice of them and I said thank you before they left. I also got a picture.
I was on the east side of the freeway where I stopped in some shade to eat a couple breakfast burritos for breakfast. They were really tasty.
I then decided I would spend a day walking up to dunnigan. There was a railroad track running north, parallel to highway 5, and I started to walk north on the tracks. About an hour into the walk I felt a giant dump that was on it's way into this world. I was in the middle of nowhere with just fields around but this thing was going down soon, whether I liked it or not. So I ran into a little bridge on the railroad where I had to take care of business. It was some serious business. But I handled it. I also baby powdered up before I continued. I hit the tracks again.
So I kept walking and got to a town called Yolo where I took another break. I sat in some shade and drank a gatorade. It was about 10:30. I was making good time and it still wasn't too hot so I didn't break for long to keep moving.
I walked a while longer and got to another small town called Zamora. By this time I was starting to chafe even with the baby powder, and it was starting to hurt a bit. I took about a 30 minute break then hit the tracks again north.
I walked for a couple hours more and by that time was feeling really tired. I took another break and passed out next to a tree. I slept an hour and a half. When I woke up I was ready to make the last stretch to Dunnigan. When I began walking my legs were really hurting. My feet hurt, my knees hurt, and my thighs were chaffing and the skin was wearing off. It was a stinging feeling. I just walked through it though. I walked until around 8pm before I got to Dunnigan and the truck stop. It was pretty much all that was there and it was right off the tracks next to the freeway. I was exhausted and walked 17 miles total that day.
My legs hurt, I was tired, and I stank! So I was done for the day. I made my bed up between the tracks and an alfalfa field. I laid down and passed out in about 10 minutes. It was a long day...
I woke up Wednesday morning in the firework booth with chuck at around 8:30 am. We woke up and packed our things up. We were both surprised we stayed as dry as we did through the night.
We headed into the truck stop. I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and stuff, and chuck went into the movie lounge. I joined him when I was done. We both were talking about really hoping we could get out of Sacramento sometime that day. Even though I'm in no rush I was wanting to see something new.
After watching a few episodes of the first 48 (one of ashleys favorite shows, which reminded me of her and how I miss her), we decided to head outside for a while. We sat outside holding our signs at the truck exit.
I Searched my gps for truck stops and the next one was Dunnigan a ways north. As I looked at the map I finally realized not many truck that were heading north were stopping at the 49er stop I was at. It's hard to explain but most of the trucks there are heading all other directions. If you look at a map and truck stop locations you can see why. I figured I would give it one more day then start to walk north.
We sat there a while into the late afternoon. Chuck left to go get lunch. He bought me two burgers and was happy to give them to me. He had been taking good care of me and taught me a lot about the road, and life in the couple days I hung with him. I was very happy to meet chuck. Great dude.
After a while I decided to take a break. I went near the firework booth to relax. The booth was open and there were a handful of people working in it.
I sat there a while and a few of them cane out to take a break and sat near me. We started to talk. They were Christians and were raising money for their church. I talked to them a while about some of the things I have experienced on the road. I also talked to a girl Liz who I was able to give pointers to on nutrition (which I have studied and have done for work before). She wrote some things down that I shared.
A little later about 7 members sat around and asked me to share my story with them. So I did. They were really happy to see what this journey had brought me so far. I told them about a few miracles I ran into and they loved the stories. I also told them about chuck and his stories, and that he was a great man.
The pastor asked if they could pray with me, and I said of course. They all placed their hands on me and prayed for my safety and blessings on this journey. It was great.
I told the pastor I believed in god (or a god) because I feel that at times. And also that I would love to believe more but just can't unless I feel it in me, or I see it. I always am open to anything and hope to feel more of a truth someday soon. A real truth.
After we talked it was time for them to put all the fireworks away in a storage unit. I helped them move it and cleaned up a little too.
Before I left they started to give me things. Before I knew it I had a new bible, a new jacket, a pack of cinnamon rolls, a bag of fresh cherries, and a yogurt. I was really happy and they were very exited to share with me. I wasn't really that hungry but figured I could share it with chuck. A woman there also told me she could take me north about half way to dunnigan in the morning. I was very exited and told her I would love that.
Before they left chuck came over. They also gave chuck a nice blanket. I was happy to see that.
Me and chuck walked away to head to our camp area. We got half way through the parking lot and ran into a girl and her dog standing outside of her suv and pop-up trailer. She was a little sporadic and loud. She was headed to Reno but ran out of money and gas. She had a sign in her windshield that said stranded and that she needs gas money. She was making a bed in her suv to sleep there for the night.
As we talked to that girl another homeless girl (or houseless as chuck says) walked up to us. Her name was Mandy and she had a really strong accent. She was from Australia. She was probably late 40's. She had a couple bags and she seemed very on edge. She was a little frantic telling us where she was headed. Her and her husband were in redding, CA on vacation. Her husband got really drunk and had been arrested and expedited back to there home state (Kansas). She had no money or no way to get back and hadn't talked to him since his arrest. You could hear emotions in her voice. She got to Sacramento from redding with a trucker who tried to sleep with her. She told the trucker she is married and respected her vowels. She was very emotional. I felt bad for her.
We told her we were heading to a camp spot and she could join us for protection. She was happy and said she would appreciate that. Chuck bought her dinner and we went to our camp. We got there and it was pretty wet. So me and Mandy headed back to the truck stop to look for cardboard. I talked to her and was actually able to calm her down. She told me the same thing happened a year ago but in Los Angeles. I was thinking "man she must really love her husband". And the entire time she only said good things about him. It was actually pretty cool to see her commitment to him was that passionate.
We found cardboard and were headed back. A man in a Toyota truck pulled up and asked where we were going. Mandy said Kansas and I said north. He offered me a ride up to woodland. I would have taken it but Patty from the church group was already planning to pick me up in the morning so I told him thanks, but no thanks.
We got to our camp and made our beds. Mandy went to the truck stop to watch tv a while and me and chuck talked. I also gave him the food I received earlier and he was pumped because he just smoked a bowl and had the munchies. We talked about the road and people you run into. He gave me pointers on how to know the difference between a street hustler, and a good person on the streets. His tips made sense and I knew they would help me.
Mandy returned a while later and we all laid out next to each-other. I kinda laughed at the situation I was in. Never thought I would be camped out homeless with two people on cardboard. It was pretty cool to feel happy and smile during that.
Chuck yelled out a few minutes later "$hit!" and sat up. He said a slug was on his hand. He told me when the air is moist the slugs come out. He told me if you get packs of salt at a station and put it around where you sleep it keeps them out. I flashed my phone light and saw a few that had crawled onto the cardboard around me. I flicked them off and then climbed deep down in my sleeping bag. I went to bed at around 11. I didn't sleep well that night and think it was from being exited to get a ride the next morning.
I woke up at around 9 behind a storage yard and next to highway 80 in Sacramento. Been in Sacramento over a week now and was really hoping to get a lift out of there soon. Me and chuck packed up our things and headed back down the street to the 49er truck stop.
On the way there chuck told me he was gonna buy me breakfast. We went burger king and he treated me. It was really nice of him and I planned to share more of my pizza with him for lunch.
After we ate we got to the truck stop and sat by the exit holding or signs. We sat there about an hour. Chuck said that he felt in his fake knee that rain was coming. Sure enough about 20 minutes later it started sprinkling. It was getting heavier and heavier so we decided to go into the truck stop and stay dry. We sat in the movie lounge and watched movies. I wrote my journal. They also have wifi so I used Internet.
The rain turned into a thunder storm and heavy rain. We watched out the window as it came down. For most of the day we just stayed out of the rain and watched movies with some truck drivers. It was a relaxing day.
I heated up some pizza in a microwave there for lunch. We enjoyed that and finished what I had left. A few hours later for dinner chuck went and bought both of us burgers from burger king.
After dinner the rain was down to a sprinkle and we decided to walk around and look for somewhere to sleep that night. We checked the firework booth but it was leaking pretty bad. We walked next door to a tractor dealership and there was a big overhang in front of the store. It was lit up and visible to the road but was really the only dry spot around. We figured that was our best bet.
We went back to the movie lounge in the truck stop and watched dodgeball. At around 9:30 we decided we should hit our spot and go to sleep. We wanted to get up early the next day before anyone came into work at the tractor dealership. They opened at 7 so we wanted to get up at 5:30. So we headed out of the truck stop and walked that way. On our way out there we ran into a backpacker who was looking at a map outside. He was a young guy with a pitt bull. He said he was headed to Oregon but had never been on the west coast. He was confused looking at the map. He asked if we knew where to stat dry for the night. We told him where we were heading and he asked if he could join. So he and his dog followed us. Be had a bad limp and said he got nailed by a semi two days ago. He was a trip.
We got to the overhang and made our beds up. I fell right asleep. We had all slept a couple hours. At around midnight a voice woke us up saying "hey, you guys can't stay here". It was a cop. He said he got a call and had to come and get us off the property. We woke up and packed our things quickly. He was cool about it. We told him we were just trying to stay dry and we would get out of there right away. We got our things and left. Me and chuck headed to the firework booth. The rain had stopped and we decided to see if it was dry enough in the booth to make our beds there. We looked back for the other dude and he disappeared in the dark and was gone. He must have left the other direction down the road.
Inside the booth it was still pretty wet. We found a stack of cardboard by a dumpster. We dug down until we found some dry pieces. We took them into the booth so we could lay our beds on something dry. We passed out again. About an hour after that the sprinklers to the grass next to the booth turned on. Chuck woke up yelling and was pissed because the water was running through his cardboard and he was getting a little wet. He moved to a dryer spot and went back to bed. I fell asleep again too. We were lucky it never rained again or we would have been on a mission to find a dry spot to go. Given the conditions I slept pretty good.
I woke up Monday morning on a park bench. I heard some people walking around me. It was a crew of people picking up trash for the city. I woke up and noticed there was a bunch of trash next to me. I didn't want them to think it was from me so I picked it up and threw it away before they got there. I packed my bed up and headed to Starbucks.
I wrote there a little while and was texting Ashley. I also ate so much pizza it was coming out of my ears. I was there for a while. I finally decided around 4 that it might be cooling down a bit outside and I would walk the rest of the way to the 49er truck stop. So I took off from Starbucks.
I walked an hour or so in the heat and finally got to the truck stop. I headed right to the empty firework booth near the truck exit. When I got there I saw a man laying down with gear like mine and a women next to him with some bags. The woman was dressed nice and didn't look like someone living on the streets.
I sat near the exit and put a sign out that said north. After a little while the man woke up and saw me. He asked where I was going and I said Oregon or Washington. I asked where they were going. The guy was heading to salt lake and the woman said she's just going wherever. I had a weird vibe from her. The woman left her stuff there and walked to the station across the parking lot. The man came over to talk to me. His name was chuck. He asked me a few questions about my travels. He was coming from new mexico. Chuck was a retired marine of 14 years. I asked him who the lady was. He said he just met her that day and that she is crazy. He said she kept talking about how she stays away from tv's so her family can't read her thoughts back home. I asked him where she came from and he said outer space. He said even though she is beautiful that she was seriously so looney he was getting sick of her. I saw her talking to two guys in the parking lot and wondered what she was saying to them. She eventually came back to her bags. Chuck said he was going inside to get a drink. I told him to take a few slices of pizza from my bag so he did and said thanks. He went into the station.
The girl eventually came over to me and asked where I came from and if I was having fun. She said she was thinking of heading to Santa Cruz. Then she walked away. I didn't really talk to her because I felt uncomfortable from what chuck told me.
I sat by the exit for a few hours with my sign. It was pretty slow and my butt was numb so I took a break and laid on the grass. While I laid there near the girl a security guard walked up to the girl. He told her he had multiple people saying she had been soliciting sex to them inside the truck stop. He told her she needed to get her things and get off the property. I couldn't believe it. She was really quite and didn't say much, she just grabbed her things and went across the street to a chevron and sat on a bench.
It was about sunset. Chuck walked back out to where I was. He said he had a good spot to crash if I wanted to be somewhere safe. I was originally thinking I would stay in the firework booth but kept thinking that the people selling fireworks would walk in the morning. So I decided I would go with chuck. We walked towards a storage unit property down the road. We walked by the lady and she came up and walked with us. She was asking if we wanted to get a hotel room with her and that she had money. She had no camping gear and I kept wondering where she has been staying at night. Either hotels or trucks probably. We both said we had a spot already and no thanks. She went into the super 8 down the road.
Me and chuck found a good spot between the storages and highway 80. Chuck cleared out some sticks so we could put our stuff down. We made our beds and laid down.
Me and chuck talked for a while and I learned about his life. Before he was born his father died in Vietnam. He was raised by his grandfather in Indiana on a dairy. He got his girlfriend pregnant when he was 13!!! He also had kids with her when he was 15 and again at 18. She was 2 years older than him. His oldest son is 31 and he is 44. For some reason I laughed for like 10 minutes about that. He has 6 kids total all when he was young. He joined the marines and served 14 years in 7 different countries. He walked really slow and obviously had many injuries. He was run over in Iraq and also blown up. 60% of his spine is made up of dead peoples bones and put together with pins and plates. He was a tough dude. He owned a house in Indiana but gave it to his daughter. He has money that he gets every month and is not really poor. I asked chuck why he was on the road and he said since the military he has severe PTSD and can't stay in a place more than 2 days or he feels like he is in prison. He said the road is his therapy and he would rather camp outside then stay indoors. Sleeping indoors made him crazy.
He had a sharp mind and some really good views on the world. He has seen a lot and was educated. He said he is not homeless. He shed his blood all over the world to call this place home and he stays wherever he wants. This is his home, the home of the brave and he has earned that much. He was upset because cops give him trouble about holding signs. He never asked people for anything but only displays information. He said it's no different than a pizza place with a guy outside holding a sign, except his sign is cardboard and homemade. He said he has been through a lot serving this country and has earned the right to do that. And that the authorities who give him trouble usually have no idea. They just think he's a bum.
He told me new world order is in progress and it has been slowly trying to take our freedom away for a while. That Obama is only placed into the presidency as a piece of that puzzle. He predicted that when Obama is re-elected a skin head will shoot him and it will cause a start of a revolution. A revolution we need. He believes that people like me who lived on both sides of the fence and are young can be a leader of survival when that time comes. ( I'm just telling you what people say to me ). He was telling me about the world leaders. 18 people who control 98% of all the globes money. That they decide when wars happen because they fund them, and they fund countries. But our revolutionary war will happen in the next 5 years.
He was really giving me respect for what I was doing. He thought it took courage and thats what I'm finding in life some people will never figure out. He told me I am lucky to be figuring it out this young. He said that when you give up everything the world then gives you a reward and a life full of happiness. I didn't have a strong opinion on anything he said but just mostly listened. But I sure feel like since I have made this decision, it's been a miracle what has come my way. I thought this place was full of dark and that by doing this it was gonna be much harder and more painful. But it has actually been 100% opposite then what I expected (mentally).
Me and chuck really connected and were able to bond on many thoughts and certain subjects. He is a great guy and I was lucky to meet him and hear his story.
Chuck smoked a bowl of weed so he could sleep from all of his pain. We finally crashed at about 11
I woke up sunday morning under some trees in a park. I was still in Sacramento. I heard something walking near me so I turned my head to look and saw a German shepherd. It was on a walk with it's owner and had ventured to me. I heard the man yell for the dog.
I packed my things up and headed to Starbucks down the street. When I got to Starbucks I washed up in the bathroom. I was gonna spend a good chunk of the day catching up in sending my journals to my cousin now that I had Internet again. I typed for a while sending them over.
A woman came into Starbucks and ordered a water. She sat next to me and plugged her phone in. She sat there a while then eventually asked me questions about my sign that said I was on a journey. I told her about my journey and why I was doing it. She was amazed and thought it was very brave and courageous. She then really opened up to me about her story. Her name was kim and was 41. She was a crack addict from the age of 16 to 39 and has been clean now two years. She grew up poor her whole life and was in the party scene early on in her teen years. She was homeless by 18 and has been living on the street since then. She said all the years she was on crack she was a soldier for the devil. She came to a point in life where she broke down and begged god to take drugs away from her life. Since she asked that she went through a series of events that ended in sobriety. She has been a believer of god since then and says she has joined his army. She never goes to church or reads the bible but has god watching over her 100%. She now shares much of the things out of little she has. She said since she has done tha,t things she needs have come to her much easier than ever. She said it's so important to give back and that is how to spread gods love. She lives in a tent down by the river in a park with her boyfriend. She has been happier than ever since she has been clean and when she let god start to work in her life. Her words were really powerful and I had goosebumps many times during our conversation. At the end of us talking she said she thinks I am a strong soldier for god and that meeting me gave her more power in her faith. I told her I am searching for truth and what this world really is. She said I will find it and she thinks I already have been. Her certainty was really strong. It was cool to hear that from someone like her who has lived through the dark side of this life so long and has now come into the light. It feels like people who have lived that way have a stronger sense of the struggles of getting through the dark side. To me that is fascinating and the stories are so amazing to hear. We talked for 2 hours. She gave me half an orange she had. Then she took off.
I continued to write my emails. A man and two kids sat outside and were eating. They had a box of pizza and were all grubbing. I kept looking at the pizza and it looked so bomb. I wondered when I would eat pizza again and figured it might be a while. That's for sure one of my favorite foods.
I sent emails all day until 8 when Starbucks closed. I went to a laundromat down the street to use their wifi and sat down for a while. A security came in and sat down. He asked me if I was traveling through and said he never seen me around. I told him I was heading north. He asked some questions and we talked a while. He was really cool. At this point it was about 10pm. He asked how I eating the road and I said I kinda snack or hit value menus here and there. He asked if I ate dinner? I said I had some trail mix but not really a dinner. Then he said something that shocked me. He told me if I go behind the building at 11, little Caesars next door takes all the Hot and ready pizzas out to the homeless for free. When he said that I thought I would check it out. We talked a while then he had to make his round and left. When he left It hit me. I remembered the guy and his kids eating pizza and me watching them at Starbucks. I got goosebumps.
The security returned about 20 minutes later and said he talked to a kid that works there and he would make sure to have a few slices for me. I was pumped!
So at about 10 minutes til 11 I went out back and sat by there back door. I sat there a minute or so when I saw a homeless man walk by. He was barely staying on his two feet and talking to himself. He would stop once in a while and crack up laughing also. It was freaky and his laugh was like a witch. I saw him sit by a fence and pull something out of his coat. It was a piece of tin foil. He put something into it and then he lit a light to heat the foil (freebasing). He did that for a few minutes then he was ko'd up against the fence. I took a picture but it came out black. I also noticed a man I saw drinking coffee in Starbucks earlier walk up. He was in clean clothes and was cleaned up pretty good. He walked up to the dumpster and jumped right in. I was surprised. He moved stuff around and then jumped out. He pulled out a can of something and cracked it open and drank it. That was really out of nowhere.
After that a little car drove up and a young kid asked me if I knew where to get coke. I told him no. Then he drive off quickly.
The back door of little caesars opened and a employee saw me sitting there and closed it right away. He opened it again and said I couldn't sit by the door. He told me to stand by the dumpsters across the way. I told him no problem and I did.
There were two guys on bikes over there. They told me that a few days ago a homeless crackhead rushed the door when they opened it and so they don't want anyone sitting there. So a few minutes later the employee came out and he had a huge stack of boxes. I was thinking they would bring a box or two and I was going to split it with the two guys. There were 12 pizzas! Full hot and steaming pizzas! There were also an order of hot wings and breadsticks. I was shocked! I honestly couldn't believe it and I was laughing. Especially from seeing the people eating pizza earlier and really craving it. Each of the two men took two pizzas each and left. I was hungry so I kneeled down and munched a slice right there. It hit me all of a sudden, I was next to a dumpster eating pizza off of the ground as a homeless man. I had a big cheeser smile and was extremely happy. Never thought the day would come in my life where I would enjoy that as much as I did. It was pretty amazing and again I had goose bumbs.
I packed two pizzas into a grocery bag and stuffed them into my backpack. It felt weird leaving 6 untouched pizzas in the dumpster. I left walking towards the truckstop and had a huge smile on my face.
On my way a man on his bike stopped next to me and handed me a prayer sheet. He said god bless and peddled off. It was random but I told him thanks.
I walked about half way to the truck stop and stopped at a Starbucks to use Internet one more time. From there I went to a park I found on gps and fell asleep on a bench. I was out.
2 I have had a lot of emails this week asking about my story before this journey, and my plans for the future. So I wrote down some things an will use this weeks reflection to go through some of that.
About 2 months ago I had just about every material thing I wanted by the time I was at that point in my life. I have never been a huge dreamer but more of a realist. I had the things I set out to get. I rented a nice house by myself, had a new truck I bought, and also a brand new dirt bike that I enjoyed riding. I had a good job and made good money and lived a life where money was never too tight. But there was one thing missing, me feeling happy.
I have always worked hard to feel truly happy. Whether it was working hard for money, buying nice things, going to church, going through counseling, finding it in relationships, or using meds. I have tried almost everything to be happy but honestly have never felt more than just a glimpse here and there that would eventually fade. I was told by many people that life is tough and you just need to appreciate the little glimpses of it to keep you happy. As much as I wanted to believe that and feel that, I just couldn't. I could never appreciate things that much to be able and use it to get me through the time where I wasn't happy.
I have seriously been miserable about 90% of my life. I'm good at hiding it and have never wanted people to see that in me. I always felt like I was only living life the way I was because that's how your told it's supposed to be. I found myself not even enjoying things that I should have been. It honestly felt like my life had become automatic and I was just following a script. It was a feeling of being dead inside.
I came to a point in my life where I hit rock bottom. I was completely tired of living and it was like my body was still here and alive but my soul was gone. I felt like I had nothing inside and there was no hope to recover. I had just tried so hard to find the right answer but never truly found it. The advise I had around me was to take meds until I felt well enough to work and that would get me through it. Well I felt inside like that was crazy and would only make my life worse. I had money and nice things but if you can't even enjoy them then what's the point? Just making more money would not work for me. Money doesn't matter to me if I can't really be happy. And I am not one to just force myself through something if it's not real. So I gave up that kind of life in search of something real.
I quit. I stopped everything and decided to hit the streets. I had many offers from family to just stay with them until my spirits were back up. But the truth is my spirits were never up in the first place and I was really just burned out from fighting it. I knew staying with someone was really just taking the easy way out and really giving up. Like I said before I have always wanted to find my truth and I still didn't want to give up. I know i'll find my truth, my happiness, somewhere in this world. I just didn't know when or how.
So I hit the road. A place where I don't need to depend on anyone. A place where I wasn't a burden to anyone, and where I wasn't anyones inconvenience. I would have to see real life for myself and see who I really am.
Let me jus say, this has been the best thing to ever happen in my life. I made a choice that I would travel to Japan and help people there also in the near future. I know that helping others has always made me feel alive and happy. But I really have never had a good opportunity to do that as my life was clouded with too many other commitments. And I want to help people in a truly sincere way. Nothing where I'm trying to make money for myself or a company. Nothing but pure help. I realized quickly that I could do that anywhere people are. I have experienced helping others just through spending time to talk with them and understand them. I don't get paid and most people I deal with are homeless, but there are some really great people out here that deserve it just as much as anyone.
I am very lucky to have met some of the people I have met on the streets. And even if I am helping them, they really are helping me just as much if not more. They have helped me to feel alive and to feel like I am actually living life now. It's been a miracle and I honestly am finding happiness in the last place I expected. My body is sore and hurting everyday. I have bug bites all over and most of the time smell like monkey butt. But I feel richer than I ever have and wouldn't change anything about this decision. I feel so much hope now and have an awesome support system, all over the world! I never thought my life would come here and I am just shocked in what an amazing thing this has become.
I want to thank everyone again for your support and I really hope to give back in the future. I want to share my happiness with others so they know it's real. Im a believer now that all you need in life to be happy is a few things on your back, and the courage to never give up. And that courage definitely is not only your own. I have had help all over in this journey and can't take credit for hardly anything. I know it hasn't been long since my journals started but this journey actually started a couple months back. I know also that this doesn't mean I am fixed for life. I don't even know that I am fixed. But I do know that I have been given the courage I needed and now have a much more clear sight of what this life means. I see now that I have grown to find a piece of truth. And that money is something, but it is NOT everything. Thanks to everyone for all you have helped me with. I will never forget it and plan to share the love as long as I can.
